Falling in love with the woman of your dreams is one of the most significant emotion you can experience in life. Unfortunately, relationships can turn sour. So you need to know how to get over a girl when relationships end.
Moving on from someone you love is often associated with countless tequila shots, sleepless nights, and intense feelings of loss. Relationships fail because of many reasons. Whether it’s your fault or theirs, or if you two are in a toxic relationship, breakups can hurt.
Knowing how to get over a girl is one of the most challenging experiences you will ever have. However, you cannot just sit around and wallow in your negativity, depression, and self-pity. If you are feeling depressed, you need to find ways to move on.
But why does getting over the woman you love hurt so much? This phase of your life means you are not only letting go of the love you have, but it also means blowing up all your plans with her.
Thankfully, solutions on how to get over a girl are available, albeit at times potentially painful. It’s time to regain your independence and readjust your life.
What Does It Mean to Get over Someone?
Before figuring out how to get over a girl, you first have to acknowledge that you are stuck. Moving on from your past wife, partner, or even almost-girlfriend has many implications. It doesn't merely mean erasing and forgetting every event in your life you shared with them.
Getting over someone is not synonymous with deleting the past. It only means transcending towards something more significant and embracing everything you learned throughout the experience. You have to channel your sorrow into a foundation of growth, rather than treat it as a failure.
Signs That You Need to Get over a Girl
Learning how to get over a girl is not easy. You cannot simply forget about the past and look forward to what the future holds a day after your breakup. When you start moving on, the past will hold on to you like a shroud.
This tendency will affect the way you see yourself, your actions, and your decisions. But how do you know that it’s time to let go?
She makes you feel bad about yourself
Your relationship may be emotionally abusive. If your girlfriend is always putting you down and making you feel worse, then you know it’s time to leave the situation and be with someone who makes you feel appreciated and loved.
You should also take a look at your self-confidence. If it has been dramatically affected by your relationship, it’s time to take charge of the situation. It’s not a good thing to be with someone who breaks you down instead of building you up.
You cannot remember the last time you were happy
No one should ever make you feel depressed. If you are always unhappy, then it’s time to consider how to get over a girl. You deserve love and happiness. So make an effort to move towards these positive goals.
You cannot express yourself effectively
If you feel your girlfriend is always silencing you, you are likely in an unhealthy relationship. Being in a situation where your opinion is not valued is dangerous because it can mess with how you see yourself.
She is forcing you to change
If your girl is asking you to turn into something you are not, reassess your current situation. A person who loves you would not ask you to change your principles and values. You should be with someone who respects you and is proud of who you are.
You are only reliving the past
If you hold on to the past, you will be missing out on the future. What has happened before is already in the past. It is crucial to create more positive experiences today -- not just remember good times that have already happened.
You have grown apart
Image via Pixabay
No matter how much you love someone, you might grow apart over time. What you used to want may evolve into something else. If this happens, your values and needs might clash. This potential source of conflict will cause misunderstandings and a potentially destructive relationship.
The Road Forward Is Challenging
Before considering how to get over a girl, you have to understand that it won’t be easy. It will hurt, and the pain that weighs on your chest won’t go away after a few days. Getting over a woman you love is a long and rocky road.
It is hard to wake up in the morning and feel like not getting out of bed. It's even harder to sleep at night knowing you won’t wake up with the one you love. However, you have to accept that things are not what they used to be anymore. It may be difficult, but you can do it. Hope is not lost.
How to Get over a Girl
Getting over someone is not a quick process. Studies suggest that it takes 11 weeks to get over a breakup. If you are recovering from a marriage, it might take longer. However, this does not mean you have to set a timer for yourself.
How to get over a girl involves a process. This experience varies, and sometimes it can get messy. There are many factors you need to consider for your healing. How long did your relationship last, and what did you go through? Do you have children or properties? Did you grow up together? Only after considering these factors will you know the depth of the emotions you shared.
Success in how to get over a girl is more difficult if you initially did not want your relationship to end. However, many people have gone through the pain of a breakup. And these people can vouch for the fact that moving on enables you to become a better person.
Many people think that to get over someone; you have to meet new people or go out with your friends all the time. For some people, these experiences can only make you feel drained and empty from the inside.
What you should first learn to accept is that the pain won’t go away in a day or a week no matter how many people you meet or how many drinks you consume.
Taking a time-out is important
Building relationships is meaningful because humans are social creatures. When you break up with a person you love, you are ending a critical phase in your life.
You feel sad because you don't only think you’ve lost meaning, but also a part of yourself. To know how to get over a girl, you have to acknowledge that you feel lost and empty.
How do you move on if you feel destroyed about what happened? Give yourself time to cry, to shout, and even lock yourself in your room and release all your pent-up frustration.
It’s perfectly okay to let yourself feel the hurt. However, know when to stop. Prolonged grief will affect your choices, including your ability to trust others.
Ending a relationship is often extremely disorientating. Breakups make you think you have no purpose anymore. However, that’s precisely the feeling that you need to fight. Although you have lost a part of yourself, you can still live your life and become a better person.
Realizing this truth will not only enlighten you, but it will also lift you from the pit you are stuck in. While it may hurt to accept that you can no longer be with someone you love, you have to find new meaning.
Tying up all those loose ends
It’s hard to know how to get over a girl if you do not understand why the relationship ended. Whether you were dumped or you dumped your partner, you will be hung up on your relationship even if you were terrible for each other.
People always tell you that you should not stop trying to make a relationship work, especially if it’s true love. However, you need to know when to give up because it might be the only way to save yourself from becoming depressed.
Sometimes, closure won’t happen automatically. And this is okay. Understand that you have to take responsibility for yourself. It's only you who can take action to move forward – not your family, best friends, or therapist.
Practice self-dialogue and ask yourself what you are holding onto the most. Does it make you happy to relive your time together? Are you only holding on to “could have been” moments?
Fiddle with your daily compass
One reason you may be holding on to a relationship is that you have established a routine together. It’s always a great experience to wake up and have coffee with someone, then go to work and meet during dinner. However, changing your routine is a must for how to get over a girl.
Now is the perfect time to see things in a different light and get out of your comfort zone. Explore other parts of yourself and discover new hobbies. You cannot simply hang out with the same people, go to the same places, and expect to move on.
When you're getting over someone, your whole world changes. Take this in a positive light. Use your new routine as a way to divert your attention. If you have always wanted to do something such as learn how to paint, try gardening, or travel more, then do these things. Just try to evade activities that remind you of her.
There are many things you can do every day. Remember that the world is not centered on your heartache. You deserve to feel relaxed, and the only way to do this is by reconnecting with your passions.
Check out different perspectives
When you get your heart broken, the last thing you need is to talk to a person who will only make you feel worse about yourself. Find someone willing to stick by your side, such as your friends and family. These people will help you make sense of your experience and tell you what you need to hear.
However, be careful about setting your limits and trusting people. Assess if they are positive and emotionally sound.
Just because you have ended your relationship with someone does not mean that you are unlovable. Talking about your emotions to someone else is extremely helpful because you will get a fresh perspective on your experiences.
Turning to friends for help is also recommended if you have things you need to get from your home or if you have something you need to return to her. Just have them deliver these items on your behalf. This system will ease the pain of seeing them again.
It can be tempting to stay in bed all day long after a breakup. But you need to stop moping around and wearing the same clothes for an entire week. To promote healing, remember that you are the most important person in your life.
Take a long shower and wear your best clothes to feel more confident. You should also look for ways to keep yourself busy.
Many people suggest that it is easier to get over someone if you have a busy schedule. If you have a lot of free time, look for things to do. You can try working out since it can release endorphins, which serve to lift your spirits. Do things that make you feel good.
By investing in yourself, you can know yourself more and see things more clearly. For example, what do you need and what can you do to meet those needs? Now is not the time to look for another girl. Take the opportunity to concentrate on yourself.
Remember that breakups are a learning experience
Living is learning. Although it may be hard, try to find comfort in that. All your hardships make you a better person. If you need help, there’s no shame in seeing a therapist to get a neutral opinion on the psychological and emotional impacts of the failed relationship.
You can only find meaning in your experience by not romanticizing the past. This way, you can see everything in a new light, and that includes all shortcomings from both parties. Use this new knowledge to improve yourself in the future.
Don’t regress and rewind life
There’s a reason why your relationship ended. Do not go back to the relationship even if the opportunity presents itself. It may be hard at the beginning, but you will get through it.
Because you are feeling down, it is tempting to go back to your previous partner and try to fix everything. However, you might only break up again in the future, and this might become a never-ending unhealthy cycle.
Accept that you need to move on with your life. You can even establish a no contact rule by cutting off communication with her. This decision means no stalking on social media, no looking at old photos and videos, no pestering her friends, and absolutely no talking.
Allow time to return to your usual self
The adage is true – time really does heal everything. A breakup is not the end of the world. However, you also need to have the right attitude to recover emotionally.
Ask yourself what your ideal pace is. That way, you can prevent rushing into things you are not ready to handle. You may not realize it, but one day you’ll wake up with the energy to take on new challenges and commit again.
As time passes, your pain will lessen. Looking back at your old photos will hurt less, and thinking about her won’t hurt anymore.
You Can Do It
People cope with breakups differently. When exercising ways on how to get over a girl, take actions that will move you in a better direction. Although you might not feel this way right now, this is life’s way of giving you a second chance.
Thoughts of what you have lost might blind you; but in time, you will see good things in front of you. Your wounds will heal; just be patient.
Have your own experience in dealing with a tough breakup? We'd love to read about it in the comments below!